Tag Archives: oblivion

Cape Town Carnage :) – Time Off!

Okay, so as many of you know my last trip into Angola was a complete disaster the last week I was there. Things had just been getting progressively worse as the month progressed.

CPT for a while - small

Cape Town from the Tampon Towers 🙂

Luckily I managed to get back to Cape Town just in time for the 2 day week. 3 public holidays almost in a row led to some serious debauchery and over-indulgence on my side. This was well timed, as I was in serious need of a break after my last week in Luanda. Well, I took serious advantage of it!

We: The Pharmacist, Bokkie and myself, hit Oblivion on the Friday night which was pretty good. I landed up at Tiger on Sat after rugby with Borat, and that was once again a late night. Can’t remember much about the night to be honest, but it was a good one, and I got pretty drunk, and landed up getting some chicks blood all over my jeans, which apparently I had caused when she fell off her chair, but I very much doubt it. Well, Johnny Walker doubts it! 😮

It landed up being a week of complete excess – the public holidays very well timed for me!

I got a dive in on the Wednesday afternoon with The Advertiser and a college friend of his, and we did A-Frame which was chilled. Not too cold and good to be back in the water, especially with my new mask, a Mares X-Vision, which was just great. I had borrowed one briefly in Sharm when I was there back in 2004, and as my Cressi had now given up the ghost, it was a good purchase. Very happy with it indeed. Vis wasn’t bad for A-Frame, but the wind was absolutely howling, so it was cool to get under the water. The Advertiser found us an Octo, which was always cool to see and there were the usual “strepies” (fish) hanging around the A-Frame itself, with loads of starfish, with the big legs.

Borat and I hit Tiger again on the Wednesday night as Thurs was a public holiday and it landed up being an absolute ripper. I actually started off at Jade bar in Green Point  with the Sales Man, and a few of his mates. From there we went to Karma in Camps Bay, which was okayish. Borat pulled through and then very aptly called it a “Coloured Jol”, which it seriously was. haha

From there we HIT Tiger . . . and  . . . I can’t actually remember what happened next. I do remember running around Harfield Village at about 04h30 trying to wake people up to help me with my car, as I had run out of fuel – not immediately obvious to me at the time – something to do with dicing Borat back from Camps Bay and burning the rest of the half a reserve tank, and then forgetting to fill-up when I left Tiger . . . oi vey the Sales Man comments! 🙂 The funny thing is the cops drove past me twice. Anyway, I called Borat and he said he would pull through. 30 mins later, he hadn’t arrived, and I had finally sobered up enough to realise that I was actually covered by the AA, a company thing, a good thing, and I called them and made it their problem. The guys arrived about an hour later, now around 06h and had to knock on my window, I had fallen asleep again, whilst listening to Harry Potter on my iPod, and was now completely lost in the story too. The AA dude found a 500ml bottle in the road, which he took off to get fuel in, luckily for that, as they don’t carry with them, and I waited another while for him to return. He did manage to get me going, and I headed off home to sleep big time! And still with no word from Borat. I called him a  few times, to no avail. Think it went straight to voicemail, and texted a few times too, but they never got delivered

I got a text from him at around 11h30 that morning saying: Got busted by the pigs on my way to you, just got home now. And that was it. I didn’t hear from Borat for the next 4 days, and I reckoned it was cause he was miffed with me.

Thursday afternoon I got out a bit and went up Lion’s Head, as it was great weather. The lack of gym showed very quickly though with me being completely stuffed, without my pump halfway up the path, just past the paraglider’s launch point. It was also probably due to the fact that I had hammered it getting up there, and that wasn’t very clever either.

My phone decided to give up the ghost around about that time, and the sim card just died! Little did I know what fun I was about to have trying to get it replaced.

Saturday I decided to go diving in the morning after the relaxing dive I had had the Wednesday. So pulled through to Hout Bay to head for a dive from there. Met up with the dive crew from ProDivers. We heard reports from the guys coming in that the vis was amazing, like up to 20m at parts. Hmmm, that was ringing bells in the back of my head, but I couldn’t remember why . . . I got my kit ready and we launched from there. We were supposed to do some site or other but the swell was pushing a bit so we landed up doing Vulcan rock instead. The boat stopped, we all kitted up and dropped in, and BANG it hit me what great vis in Cape Town meant. BLOODY FREEZING WATER!!! 🙁

Like 8 degrees freezing!!! Man it was cold. My head got serious “ice freeze” on the way down,and I just remember my body going f#ck this is cold! The dive lasted about 25 mins max I think – I didn’t have my computer on, the strap was broken – and we all agreed unanimously when the DM said time to surface! It was a great dive though, and the vis was truly amazing. Probably about 15m there even with the effects of the surge around the rock. Saw loads of urchins and some really large starfish. We were also joined by a few seals at the end of the dive, and they were rather playful, which is always cool to have with.

IMG_4082 IMG_4073

Fish and Soft Corals

IMG_4087 IMG_4088

Starfish and Urchins

IMG_4096 IMG_4104

Seal and Diver

When we got back to the boat the one diver was already there. She told us she got about 5m deep and decided no way it was too cold, so cancelled her dive. Clever girl. Once back no land I decided I was only doing one dive, that was cold enough for me that was. My hands were burning the entire way home due to the senses finally returning to them from the sheer cold of the dive. Our Instructor Exam had been done in 11 degrees, but this took the cake! Won’t be doing that again in a hurry! And will definitely remember what great vis means next time round!

Headethrough to Tiger that evening, once again, and who did I see at the one counter on the far side?? Borat. Hmm, he hadn’t beein in touch sine Wednesday, and to be honest, my phone hadn’t been in operation since Thursday afternoon, so I wasn’t actually sure if he was pissed with me, or just hadn’t been in touch. I went over and said Hi. Well,to cut a long story short,he had been pissed with me at first, then got over it, and then said that  if it happened again, he would call me a taxi! Now that’s a mate. He had also been trying to get in touch, but my phone was off,so once again we were on the lash! 🙂 It was a good sat night and fun was had by all.

Monday morning early I nipped through to Malmesbury to get my new Jumbo Passport I had ordered, as mine was due to expire in March of 2009,and judging by the amount of time I was due to be spending out of the country, I decided to organise a new one 2 months back. I had already been informed that it was waiting for me. The reason I couldn’t have it posted was due to the fact that I still required my current one for travel, so had to go get the new one in person. Why Malmesbury? It is a little trick for Capetonians. It is only about 40 mins out by car,and is a fairly pleasant drive. You get there at 08h45, and there is literally no queue. You land up being first, second or third in the queue, and are pretty much done within half and hour. Not like having to wait 4 hours in a queue at Home Affairs in Cape Town somewhere,only to be told you have to wait again for the form, etc. Absolute disaster that place. I believe you can also get your drivers done in Malmesbury. That’s on the cards soon too, so I think I’ll be taking another trip soon enough. Plus there is also the Engen where you can stop off at for a decent Wimpy breakfast on the way back. 🙂

From Malmesbury I headed straight through to the Angolan Embassy to get my Visa sorted. I arrived around 10h30, and it was an absolute disaster. The queue was at about 47, but I managed to get in fairly quickly,for once,only to be told my LoI (Letter of Invitation) had not yet been received. In order to travel to Angola, you require a Letter of Invitation from an individual there. Our representation company usually sorts this out for us, and I had organised mine way in advance. To be told it wasn’t here, meant that I would have to request a new one and come back tomorrow. This would also mean my 5 day ordinary visa would now have to be treated as an Emergency Visa, and cost an additional R250! Which it did. I landed up returning every day for the next 2 days, as when it did arrive it was then missing some sort of contract number, which we had NEVER included in the past, and had never had a problem, but now we required it to do on there for them to process. Why was I not surprised. So I eventually got my application in on Thursday, which left 1 day to get a visa, as I required to have it by Friday afternoon, to fly out on Sunday morning. This is pretty much unheard of, getting a visa in 1 day, but I managed to wrangle it,and I collected it Friday afternoon. Why do we have issues every time we go to the embassy? It is crazy man.

I also put my car up for sale, as if I realistically only going to be spending approx 4 more weeks in the country,it didn’t make sense to keep it, especially since it was still be paid off. So I advertised it on AutoTrader and literally got a call the very next day by a guy who really wanted it. He took it for a test drive a few days later, and job done, he took it. We had to get a few minor issues sorted,which dragged on, once again Cape Town service :(, and then eventually he got the vehicle. I was sad to have let it go,as I absolutely lvoed my little Jetta V5, but at the end of the day, at least he will get pleasure from it, and it removes one more burden from my life, especially since I know that my sister had been driving it whilst I was away!! 😮

I got one hell of a Tummy Bug on the Saturday, the day before I was due to fly out, and was literally man down the entire day. Cramps and the the good old toilet tap scenario! Not cool,especially when you literally have to t spend a whole day flying the next day! It didn’t help either that I only got 2 hours sleep on sunday morning before getting up to go to the airport. My eyes were burning whilst I was showering I was sooo tired, and I almost fell asleep in the shower from exhaustion.

Next thing I knew . . . I was back in Luanda, for another tour of duty!



Easy Going Guy 😉

Loving Life

LiveJournal Tags: ,,

My Week of Hell – Luanda!!

I haven’t updated this in a while and I suppose it comes down to the last week I was there. My week of Hell. The last week of my last tour of duty was hell! Absolute Hell! And I’ll explain why.

We had 3 project guys arrive on the Sunday before I left, along with our new engineer, PG. Another Zimbo. He seemed really cool, and pretty chilled too.

Water Truck

A water truck, delivery water to “The Hole!!” Basically the reservoir. This is across the road from us.

Things started going wrong from the minute they arrived. I hadn’t prepared their rooms as well as I should have I will admit, not that there was much to prepare. Their Aircons weren’t working, purely because things in Angola take sooo long to organise, they had been on order for about 3 weeks, and I hadn’t put the Moz Nets up. That was purely because BP didn’t have, so I hadn’t gotten around to getting them. So, I landed up giving the one guy mine, cause I wasn’t using mine anymore. I just sleep with the fan on now, and don’t worry about the mozzies, as they don’t seem to bother me much. I also went out purchased 3 fans for the rooms they were in. Do you know how hard it was to get fans? We landed up going to one of the local markets with the driver and Warren and his Girlfriend, Raquel, who is Angolan,so she knows the lingo and the deal. Thank goodness.

The one project engineer had an absolute sense of humour failure as it was, and was not at all pleased with the situation. I don’t blame him now that I think about it. He just hadn’t been prepped enough about the set-up.That and the fact that the aircon and nets weren’t up. The others climbed onto the bandwagon from there.

Well, things went from bad to worse that week. I had bought a gas stove/electric oven unit for the guys, as we were cooking off 2 useless hotplates and they were crap. So it was a long time coming. That set us back a fair sum, but was worth it. It was delivered on the Monday, but I then found out it didn’t come with a plug, and we didn’t have sufficient cables to connect it up. The aircon guys arrived on Monday night and hooked up the aircons. Thank God!

Monday afternoon we found out the water had run out. The driver called the water guy and he tried to organise delivery. At 17h30 I found out that ther was no water still, and the guy couldn’t deliver. He didn’t have, so I called another guy and he said he would deliver later that night. Well, at 22h he still hadn’t delivered, and we realised that we weren’t getting any water that evening.

Tuesday: The next morning I headed off to Sonnills base early, with only having had a bottled water quick shower. Mental. Tuesday morning the water was at least delivered, in the late afternoon. Tuesday night the power in the house blew. The generator was on, but the main circuit kept tripping. We obviously didn’t have candles – who needs candles when you have the biggest generator in the world? Well, we did apparently. The wiring was getting hot, and then the whole main circuit breaker would trip, wiping out the entire house, both upstairs and downstairs. This must be due to excess load on the circuits! Crazy.

Wednesday, was more house power issues, then the guys laid into me about the house and how bad everything was, and I suppose they needed an outlet, so it was me, as I represented the company. What pissed me off though was teh lack of support I was getting from the Project Manager. He was supposed to be handling his guys, and he was on their side. Just a bit unfair. I took it personally,as I hate to disappoint in everything I do, and I then landed up just hating it, and wanting to get the f#ck out! REALLY BADLY!

Thursday: The water went down again, but this time there tank was full, so what was the issue? I landed up stripping the water pump. YES, ME, STRIPPING A WATER PUMP! It had been making a weird noise on Tuesday when the water ran out. The guys had left the pump running, there was obviously no auto cut-out for it, so it just ran and ran the whole time. I think it had stuffed something inside. So, I stripped it and found the issue. The impeller had broken off inside, so the pump was spinning and running, but the impeller wasn’t sucking water up! Thank goodness I did, as the guys could only make it that afternoon. At least now they could come with a spare, as opposed to only checking the problem then. They only actually arrived that evening with the new one! More bottled water showers. Happyness all round!! NOT! Then, still that morning, Jeje, the idiot driver, went and locked the keys in the car, whilst it was on in the driveway. Don’t ask, I just don’t know!! So we had to wait 3 hours for a spare key to arrive. I was so tempted to just break the window and tell him to pay for it!

Talk about the House from Hell!!! Everything that could go wrong pretty much was!!

I left the next day, on my way back to Cape Town, very much contemplating telling DD it wasn’t going to work. I actually didn’t have time to run the house to that level whilst still trying to keep a customer that was being very finicky and full of sh!t about small things happy! They would have to understand, it was the customer, or the house. I was the moer in. I was tired, exhausted, and pissed off. I had been crapped on, had worked my arse off to keep the guys in the house happy, had done my best, even stripped a pump to keep things going, and all I got was a “We’re definitely going to be taking this up with management in Cape Town” line! Well, they could go to hell for all I was concerned. It had been along tour, and I needed a break more than anyone else!

I arrived at the airport, having not organised protocol, as old Camilo was useless, and didn’t do much for us. But, guess who I bumped into at the airport??? Camilo. He was a little surprised that I wasn’t using them, maybe feeling a bit guilty about forgetting about me when I arrived a month earlier, and suddenly helped me through for free. Wow, well that was great.

The flight home was a little long, but it was a pleasure to land at Cape Town international, and not worry. I hit oblivion immediately, and met Dave there.

Great to be home! For 2 weeks!!!! 🙂



Easy Going Guy 😉

Ripping the Ring Out (of my throat) – 13 Days Home – Time out from Luanda!

I arrived in Cape Town on that Friday eve, the 14th March, just after 20h30 by the time we landed. It started with the few drinks on the plane, and then another at the Airport, followed by hitting Oblivion on the run. 🙂

CPT for a while

Cape Town CBD from the Tampon Towers! (Disa Park)

Oblivion! Man what a Venue! Especially when you haven’t seen a White Female in about 4 weeks! Okay, bar Rachel who was with us for that weekend at Mussulo. It was a Mind F#ck!! Whoa, I was like a dog on heat!

Nic kept saying: “You’ve got that Rotation Look!” Meaning I looked like the rotation guys usually do when they have been on rotation for 28 days on the rigs. Well, it wasn’t just the girls. It was everything I guess. White People in general – not that I am racist, I’m very liberal, but being able to speak proper English to people and not resorting to “Pidgin” English, cause no understands you, and just being able to fit in, and have a good time. All Good! Oblivion landed up being a bit of a late one. I met Dave and Nic there, and bumped into Mel, Michele, one of the twins I think, and then also Belinda, Melissa and then Karin’s mate, who is kinda cute, but I keep forgetting her name every time we meet.

Saturday Night landed up being Tiger Tiger, and . . . well, it ended in grief. I apparently threw up in the drive-way, just outside my car this time. Luckily not inside like a previous time the year before . . . long story, also involved Tiger funnily enough though, and then woke up wondering where the hell I was. Ooops. Not cool. Well, I got home in one piece and that was that. I was fine till I started dancing . . . that always seems to do it. 🙁 Well, that was when my throat decided to go to the J&B Met and find a horse to race, as I was hoarse as anything. And it lasted then entire 13 days I was in Cape Town. Got back to Luanda and it cleared up immediately! Weird! So, obviously I didn’t remember much of the Tiger eve, and I was seriously man down for the entire day Sunday, only rising in the late afternoon I think. Ahh, we did watch 10 000 BC before heading to Tiger I think, and that was okay. Pretty funny with the accents though, as they are actually speaking Shangaan or Tswana, or some other African Language, which just made everyone in the cinema laugh! Dave wasn’t too chuffed with me as we were supposed to be organising the speech for Gav’s Wedding.

The next few days were a bit of a blur. Gav’s Bachelors on Tuesday Night, which was pretty cool, especially the marks left on his ass the next day! haha

Gav's B

Gavin looking good!

Thursday was his Wedding, in which Dave and I were the Best Men, and really had Gav worried the entire time. He was sooo worried that we were gonna take him down, and embarrass him to no end, and at the end of the day it was actually very tame. He’s is lucky I guess, but I suppose he suffered at the Bachelors! hehe The wedding was at Meerendal, and he got a friend of mine, Emma (http://www.shine-photographs.com), to do his photography. She seems to have done a good job, even though I haven’t seen the pics yet, but I believe they’ll be good. 🙂

We got ‘ol Haydn, Garry and Dave on the dance floor at one stage, along with the bloody DJ, who I think got more pissed than anybody else! He apparently got the moer in with everyone requesting songs that at one stage he played Kurt Darren – Ek Wil Huis Toe Gaan, to which Dave knows the words perfectly, which is actually quite scary. Don’t worry Dave, you’re next buddy! hahahaha

[flv:http%3A%2F%2Fvideo-sf2p.facebook.com%2Fv91%2F5%2F78%2F42199995320_45300.flv 450 318]

Gavin’s Wedding – Haydn Garry, Dave, Ilse, Gavin and others! – 4:32 🙂

The night ended with Garry and myself adding a bit of chaos to the mix by dispersing polystyrene balls, the really small ones, to the entire bedroom. And bed. And car. Well, it was funny at the time. hehe Yeah, Yeah, I know . . . I’ll be getting married at some time in the future. But Gavin, if you’re reading this . . . who says you’re gonna be invited?? haha Only kidding mate. But, on my wedding night, I will definitely be staying in a different room/hotel/location to one you all think I will be in and I will certainly not be driving home in the car I arrived in! So Go Wild my man!! haha

Anyway, Wedding aside, which was really good – Oh, just be lucky the sheep was too heavy mate, as if it was a light one, it would have been in the back or the car too – and the issue of the morning after bedroom aside, his Missus was not happy, it was a huge success. They are still married after all! 🙂

The rest of the time kinda went by in a whizz. I got to the beach once with Nic, and got in a bit of beach bat too, which was cool. Lamed also happened, which you just can NOT do. I never got to gym , and it is really starting to show I can tell you that. Sitting around not doing any sport is not good for me at all. Guess I’ll have to start push-ups and sit-ups and possibly pull-ups too now that I’m back in Launda, as there is no gym here. Well, there might be, but none that I have yet seen!

The break was cool, but I was getting a bit impatient as my job actually requires me to be in Luanda, and it is far easier to keep a hand on things here in country than remotely.

I got my new Visa, which has me back in Cape Town on the 25th April, just in time for the next long weekend! Yay 😉 I didn’t see hardly as many people as I had hoped this time, and will definitely touch base when back! I will also get out to our Guest House in Swellendam, Klippe Rivier, for a nice break too. It’s been way too long!



Easy Going Guy 😉

The Nervous Poppie & The Irishman! – Homeward Bound – Day 27

NB, I am completing this at Windhoek airport on my way back to Luanda. 27/03/2008.

Well well, I had one hell of an interesting trip home that’s for sure. I landed up next to 2 completely entertaining individuals on each flight. The first from Luanda to Windhoek, and the second from Windhoek to Cape Town.  A very Nervous Angolan Poppie on the first leg, and a Raging Alcoholic Irishman, who could drink even more than Ash, on the second!! 🙂

Day 27 - Airport

The Tarmac at Luanda International – Departing

So firstly I arrived at the airport early. You never quite know with traffic in Luanda. Philip had told me a story just the day before where it had taken him 2 hours to travel about 800m to the entrance of the airport from the circle, to collect his wife a few weeks earlier. I was planning to leave home at about 10h15, but by the time we left it was closer to about 10h45. I was busy sorting out bills and money at home, and got delayed. We did however make it in record time, and I was there around 11h15. Incredible really. I called Kamilo, our protocol guy, and he told me that it only opens at 12h, so he’ll only be there then. I sent Oscar home and I waited outside in the sun. A queue had started to form at about 11h30 inside, and I was watching it to see how it worked. The process is a bit different to home. You actually wait in a queue outside the check-in area, then they allow you through when it’s open. My flight was at 14h, and by 13h Kamilo had still not arrived. I was starting to get worried as I had never been through the whole process before, and didn’t know what was required. Well, he eventually arrived at about 13h15, and I was doing my head in. He was “just arriving” when I called him at 12h, and he travels by motorbike, so I don’t think he had even left his offices then, and then he had the nerve to tell me that traffic was bad. Well, I told him it was unacceptable. He knows better than anybody what the traffic is like.

Anyway, I was the second last person in the queue and there were a few people waiting for standby, so Kamilo, you are a very lucky man I got on, as the prospect of spending the weekend in Luanda was not too enticing. I guess you could say I was now in home mode, and I suppose I just wanted to get home. I guess airports the world over have a habit of doing that to people. So I checked in, without Kamilo, as he is not allowed to be at the desk as he isn’t flying, and everything was cool, and then Kamilo walked me to passport control, where they ladies first check your passport then allow you through to the actual border control. In this case Kamilo did nothing as everything was in order. So basically I waited over an hour for the muppet, only to have him “hold my hand” and walk me from check-in to passport check and then that was it. Well, I’ll have to think twice in future about using protocol services to be honest with you. For departure that is. I think that arrivals is still a very different matter.

Anyway, the departure hall is crap, and the aircons leak all over the place, so you really have to watch yourself. There is a bar or 2 upstairs, and a nice set of couches outside the business class lounge. There is also free wireless if you know how! 🙂 Our flight was then delayed by over 30 minutes, which was not surprising apparently. There is no calling/PA system, or boards telling you when the flight is, and there are only 2 gates, with no signage, so you pretty much have to just hang around and then take pot luck with what other people are doing. The best is when you ask the officials what is happening with the flight as it is now 5 minutes past departure time and you are still hanging around, and they say:

“Yes, just sit”. Great, well that helps loads!

So, I got on the flight and managed to get a window seat which was great as I was pretty tired. The chick who sat next to me was literally what I can imagine an Amazonian Woman to look like. She was very tall – my height – well dressed, quite chick, not bad figure, but a big large on the thighs and buttocks, but otherwise very good for an Angolan specimen! 🙂 She was however incredibly nervous as I found out when we took off. The next thing I suddenly had my right hand grabbed and squeezed the crap out of. She was seriously frightened, when the plane banked, it was just too much. Her hand moved from mine to my leg.

“Hey, Hey, this is pretty sweet. A good way to come onto people”, I thought.

But, when she dug her nails into my right leg, well, that was the end of the foreplay session for me. Man that was it. Every little bump/jolt she would cry out and grab my hand, or my leg. At one stage she almost straddled the seat to get on top of me. It was particularly entertaining. The lady on her right was quite amused too. A glance at her arrival form belied her age to be 22. Hmm, well, she is pretty big for 22, and obviously doesn’t get around much. Once we landed she was escorted off by some Namibian Official who had the dirtiest look in his eyes I had ever seen, so I guess she might be some Ministers Daughter, or maybe Mistress. Anyway, that was leg one!

Day 27 - Windhoek Thunderclouds Day 27 - Sunset

a) Thunderclouds over Windhoek b) Sunset Windhoek to Cape Town

At Windhoek, upon reboarding the same plane, I was seated between an Insurance Broker Manager, and a Journalist. Well, Colman the Journalist was Irish, and was completely crazy. About half-way through the flight my iPod died a miserable death due to lack of charging, and considering it is an old iPod Photo 60 Gig, Generation 4, I think that the 6 or so hours it had already given weren’t bad. I then was reduced to talking to my fellow passengers,and man what a laugh. Colman is an editor of Rock Magazines, or so he claims, and between the 2 of us, we had the entire 4 rows around us in stitches. I thought I could talk shit when required, but this boytjie, man, he put me to shame! We had a rip roaring chat with loads of banter, and by the time we got off all the passengers around us were smirking and laughing out loud. The Insurance Manager wanted to know when he was flying again, as she hadn’t been that entertained on a flight ever. We made really good time getting to Cape Town, and when I found out that my lift, mommy, had not yet arrived Colman suggested we grab another drink at the News Cafe. I thought why the hell not. I literally got my luggage within the first 10 bags, which was great, and once clearing customs with no issues, we grabbed another round of doubles! 🙂 My lift arrived shortly and I left him to yet another round.

Once getting home I headed straight out to Oblivion, to meet up with Dave, and Nic who pulled through too.

That was the beginning of my 13 days back . . . but that is another story to follow! 😉



Easy Going Guy 😉